The Petals are falling.

"I think we should go back home" was my mother's response.

"You mean to Oklahoma?"

"Yes." And then she was gone again. This was last week. I could see her changing. I could see the fear creeping into her - from the mitochondria ... out.

I have decided to write her story - or our story of the last 11 years. The working title is called Girl Quantum. I am not sure I am that or she is but we are time-traveling - we are both wave and particle - at the same time.

It can get confusing if you are only a physical being - happy in the furry, warm mammalian world of Newton and WYSIWYG.

I am no longer of that world only. I have been chasing Betty for years now - since she fell ill of a broken heart (or CHF) after my brother, her first born died in May 2001. You see he failed to sprout wings - he had a parachute but he always wanted wings.

She did not cry that I saw. She just gathered ER doctors to her like flies to rotting meat. She would recover and test out some new paramedics and their rides. It was my initiation to time traveling - trying like a good daughter to fix her house of cards.

You see I am in Earth girl. I like to control things - or did. Now I chase particles - or was that a wave. You can never be sure even when you have it in your hands.

I am coming out with this blog to my friends and family. I want you all to time travel with me; I want you all to see this journey because we are connected and this is all the practice we get for death and for living life.